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Why Noah's Ark Was Not Built In Flower Mound 05.31.01 (Read 1244 times)
UmmYeahOk
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Why Noah's Ark Was Not Built In Flower Mound 05.31.01
Jan 14th, 2009 at 11:04pm
 
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed.

But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark."

"OK, " Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."

"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents, The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard weeping, and there was no ark.

Noah!" shouted the Lord," where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit because I'm in the city limits of Flower Mound. Your plans did not meet their code, So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system."

"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from Flower Mounds Board of Adjustments.

Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a tree ordinance and the trees I needed are outside what they consider the building foot print. I needed a tree removal permit of which they then denied."

"Next, I started gathering up the animals but was stopped by Flower Mounds Planning and Zoning Board. The land cannot be used for Live stock based on the most recent Master Plan. Also, the town manager said there were more animals than he originally projected so I should not proceed. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being."

The town engineer wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent him a globe! Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint from Flower Mounds Mayor that the ark looks an awfully lot like apartments and I cant proceed until they rule on that. I had to pay to get on the Town Councils agenda only to have the ruling tabled at eight different meetings.

The Building department is now holding the permit, saying it looks like I'm trying to leave town without paying some kind of road and water/ sewer impact fee."

Really, I donít think I can finish the ark in less than five years."

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.

"No," said the Lord, "I Ďll have to wait. Sell your current property. Locate other property that fits your needs. Stay just out side of Flower Moundís jurisdiction so you can utilize their roads for the transportation of the animals."

~ R
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